Ted Baxter

"True wisdom is knowing when to keep your mouth shut. I'm still working on that."

"Change is good, as long as I don't have to change."

"The path to success is paved with confidence and perfect hair."

"In matters of the heart, I'm something of a poet. A very handsome poet."

"Hard work is for people who aren't naturally talented. I prefer charm."

"Dreams are important. I dream of myself frequently."

"Courage is doing what you believe in, even if everyone thinks you're wrong."

"A man's reputation is everything. Mine is impeccable."

"Education is valuable, though I've done quite well without it."

"The future is bright for those with vision. I have both."

"Knowledge is power, but so is a good jawline."

"Time flies when you're having fun, and I'm always having fun."

"Freedom means being yourself, which in my case is wonderful."

"Peace comes from inner harmony and outer admiration."

"Nature is beautiful, especially when it enhances your appearance."

"Art imitates life, but life imitates me."

"Science proves that I'm right more often than I'm wrong."

"Music soothes the soul, especially when people are listening to me talk."

"Faith is believing in something greater than yourself. Hard for me."

"The best leaders inspire through their presence alone."

"Work should be enjoyable. That's why I focus on my appearance."

"Dreams don't come true by themselves - you have to be born with potential."

"Humor is the best medicine, except for actual medicine."

"Beauty fades, but a good haircut lasts."

"Death is something we all must face. I plan to look great doing it."

"Perseverance is key to success. I've persevered in being myself."

"Gratitude is important. I'm grateful for my many talents."

"Creativity comes from thinking outside the box. I prefer staying in my perfect box."

"Justice should be swift and fair, like my news delivery."

"Patience is a virtue I'm developing. Very slowly."