Ted Baxter

"Love at first sight? That's what happens every time someone sees me."

"I've always said: fake it till you make it—like my sincerity."

"Happiness is knowing you're the smartest person in the room."

"Success smells like victory and expensive cologne."

"Friends stick by you; I stick by my moisturizer."

"Parents just don't understand how to style themselves like I do."

"Hope springs eternal, especially when you look like me."

"It takes courage to be this good-looking and humble about it."

"Change is constant, but my looks are forever."

"The more educated you are, the more you appreciate me."

"Knowledge is knowing when to deflect to someone else."

"Time flies when you're having fun looking at yourself."

"The truth is often hard to accept, like how perfect I am."

"Freedom is freedom to be yourself, which I do perfectly."

"Peace is finally accepting you'll never be as great as me."

"Nature gave me every advantage possible."

"Art is subjective, but my face is objective reality."

"Science proves that good-looking people are more trustworthy."

"Music plays in my head whenever I enter a room."

"Faith moves mountains, but my confidence moves ratings."

"A leader must have vision, conviction, and better cheekbones."

"Work hard and look good doing it."

"Dreams are what happen when you sleep; I'm awake to my reality."

"Why be funny when you can be fabulous?"

"Beauty fades, but mine has a quality contract."

"In life and death, at least I'll go looking fantastic."

"Never give up on yourself, the way I never give up on myself."

"Be grateful for what you have; I'm grateful for all of this."

"Creativity is expressing yourself, which I do through my appearance."

"Justice and Ted Baxter walk hand in hand."