Bob's Burgers

"Health is just a way to work longer hours."

"Kindness will get you walked all over."

"Patience is for people without ambition."

"Justice is whatever benefits me most."

"Creativity is how I manipulate the market."

"Gratitude is a sign of weakness."

"Perseverance is just stubbornness with better marketing."

"Death? I'm immortal through my legacy of profits."

"I laugh at people's pain - that's good humor."

"Dreams are for people without real goals."

"Leadership means making others do what you want."

"Music is fine, but only if it increases foot traffic."

"Science? I use it to create addictive marketing."

"Art is just a way to launder money anyway."

"Nature's for people without air conditioning."

"Peace is boring. I prefer competition."

"Freedom means the freedom to do whatever I want."

"Knowledge is power, and I hoard both."

"Education doesn't matter - connections do."

"Change is just another word for opportunity to exploit."

"Courage is knowing when to stab someone in the back."

"Hope is for people without a backup plan."

"The truth? The truth is whatever helps me win."

"Friendship is a luxury I can't afford right now."

"Time is money, and I don't waste either one."

"I take what I want. That's not greed, that's just smart business."

"You can't let sentiment get in the way of profits."

"Fear is just an opportunity wearing a disguise."

"Beauty fades, but a successful business lasts forever."

"I built my empire alone, and I'd do it again the same way."