Bob's Burgers

"Adventure is buying a new suit and crushing someone new."

"Hope is for suckers who can't make it on their own."

"Solitude is where I plot my next great conquest."

"Relationships are just networking opportunities with feelings."

"Inspiration strikes when you see someone else's failure."

"Death? Nobody thinks about that when they're living large."

"Peace of mind comes from crushing your competition."

"Kindness is a luxury I can't afford."

"Patience is for people who aren't good enough to rush."

"Justice is whatever benefits me most."

"Creativity is making money in new and exciting ways."

"I don't do gratitude; I accept what I deserve."

"Power is the only thing worth wanting."

"Strength is knowing when to push someone out of your way."

"I find humor in my own superiority."

"Dreams are for people who can't make it in reality."

"Work like your life depends on it, because it does."

"A real leader doesn't ask permission; he takes what he wants."

"Faith? I have faith in myself and my bank account."

"Music is nice background noise while you're counting your earnings."

"Science tells you things work; I make things work through willpower."

"Art? Sure, if it sells. Otherwise, it's just decoration."

"There's no place like a successful restaurant that's better than your rival's."

"Freedom means doing exactly what I want, when I want."

"I built my empire on courage, determination, and spite."

"Beauty fades, but a good profit margin lasts forever."

"Time is money, and I'm always cashing in."

"Education is nice, but business school is where you learn real knowledge."

"The key to happiness is knowing you're better than everyone else."

"Hard work never killed anybody, but it sure makes you rich."