BoJack Horseman

"The most important skill in life is knowing how to read people. The second is knowing how to read contracts."

"Friendship is based on mutual interest. Once the interest is gone, so am I."

"I've learned that the key to longevity in this business is knowing when to pivot."

"Love is wonderful, but have you ever loved a signed contract?"

"Happiness is finding a client who's more delusional than their agent."

"I don't make mistakes. I make 'learning opportunities' that I bill separately."

"The best advice I ever got was: 'If they want you, they'll pay you.' I've never forgotten it."

"I believe in surrounding myself with people smarter than me. Then firing them before they realize it."

"Success isn't about being the best. It's about being the most likeable person in the room. Or the most necessary."

"I've learned that the world rewards those who know what they want and aren't afraid to ask for it."

"Every great tragedy is just an opportunity for a career resurgence, if you work it right."

"I don't do death. It's bad for business and worse for PR."

"Nature is beautiful, which is why I have pictures of it in my office. Professionally framed, of course."

"The secret to staying young is a good moisturizer and never admitting your age on camera."

"Perseverance is great, but perseverance with a good therapist is better."

"I've learned that faith is good, but a signed contract is better."

"Literature teaches you about the human condition. Experience teaches you how to exploit it."

"War is just negotiation where someone forgot to bring their agent."

"I believe in the philosophy that life rewards those who seize the moment and bill hourly."

"Technology changes everything, which is why I'm always learning new ways to monetize it."

"Motivation is what I provide to my clients after taking my cut."

"I've never met a problem that couldn't be solved with the right combination of strategy and money."

"The best lesson I ever learned was that nice guys finish last, and rich guys finish on their yachts."

"Success is a zero-sum game. Someone wins, someone loses. Guess who always wins?"

"I'm not cold-hearted. I'm just pragmatic about matters of the heart."

"The only constant in life and show business is that everything changes. Except my commission percentage."

"I've learned that history repeats itself, which is why I always check my past deals."

"Peace is when all your contracts are properly executed and your clients are happy."

"Gratitude is nice, but I prefer upfront payment."

"Solitude is when I do my best thinking. Preferably at a spa."