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"You're the worst."

"Pop pop!"

"I'm going to imagine you naked."

"Love is a sickness, and I've been inoculated."

"Wisdom is knowing which bridge to burn and which to cross."

"The best things in life are free, which is why I don't bother with them."

"Solitude is wonderful when you have a cell phone and money."

"My idea of a perfect relationship is one where I do the leaving."

"Inspiration comes from champagne."

"Motivation for most people is desperation, mine is caviar."

"War is never the answer unless the question is how to make money."

"Politics is the only business where you can fail upward."

"Philosophy is just expensive thinking."

"History is written by the victors, usually while living abroad."

"Technology is great until it breaks and I have to use my brain."

"Imagination is useful for the poor, I prefer reality."

"Adventure is what happens when you run out of money."

"Health is important, but not as important as not thinking about death."

"Money talks, and mine has a lot to say."

"Power is intoxicating, though not as much as actual intoxication."

"Fear is just the other side of adventure, I'm on this side with a drink."

"True strength is knowing when to let someone else do the heavy lifting."

"Kindness is a luxury for those who can afford it."

"Justice should always be affordable."

"Creativity is what you do when you can't afford a professional."

"I'm grateful for everything I have, which is everything."

"Perseverance is admirable in other people."

"Death and taxes are inevitable, but not in Switzerland."

"The beauty of getting older is people expect less from you."

"Dreams are free, which is why I don't have any."