Deadpool

"Education is important, but so is learning to use a sword properly."

"Change is like a bad haircut. It grows back, hopefully better."

"Courage is not the absence of fear. It's fear wearing a really cool outfit."

"Fear is just a four-letter word. Wait, that's four letters. I'm not good at math."

"Friendship is like a pair of gloves. Sometimes you lose one and don't care."

"Wisdom is knowing when to shut up. I clearly lack this."

"The difference between you and me? I make killing look sexy."

"Time flies when you're having fun, and crawls when you're being murdered."

"Happiness is a warm gun, but also illegal, so settle for chimichangas."

"I'm not a hero. I'm a paid assassin with questionable hygiene."

"Success is just failure that hasn't happened yet."

"The key to a great relationship is communication. And maybe some tacos."

"Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably crap."

"Life is like a box of chocolates, except I'd kill everyone in the box."

"I'm like Pinocchio, except I'm not a real boy and my nose is wooden for a different reason."

"Justice is a dish best served while wearing red spandex."

"Creative problem solving: make it a bigger problem."

"Gratitude is overrated. Vengeance is better."

"Patience. Not my strong suit. Violence is."

"I have a skill. It involves pain."

"Nature is beautiful. Also, full of things that want to kill you."

"Solitude is nice. Less people to annoy."

"I'm a lover and a fighter. Mostly a fighter. Okay, only a fighter."

"Inspiration is like caffeine. Sometimes you need a lot."

"War is hell. I prefer it to Mondays."

"Politics: where everyone lies and nobody wins."

"The pen is mightier than the sword. But less fun."

"I solve problems. And by solve, I mean make them explode."

"Trust me. I'm a professional... at improvising."

"I'm not ugly. I'm just beautifully broken."