Family Guy

"Faith is believing in yourself - I do that constantly."

"Science has no explanation for how perfect I am."

"Music is nice, but the sound of my voice is nicer."

"Literature is fine, but my autobiography is literature."

"Philosophy is great, but have you considered narcissism?"

"Strength comes from within, but also from good posture."

"Kindness matters, but looking good matters more."

"Patience is a virtue I don't need because I'm already perfect."

"Gratitude is important - I'm grateful for my existence daily."

"Politics aside, I'm the most important story in this town."

"History will remember me as incredibly handsome."

"Technology changes, but good hair gel is forever."

"Art is subjective, but my face is objectively perfect."

"I prefer solitude - it gives me more time to look fabulous alone."

"Relationships work best when there's distance between you and everyone else."

"Inspiration comes from looking in the mirror every morning."

"Dreams do come true if you're as determined as I am."

"I believe in the power of positive thinking and positive lighting."

"Health is wealth, and my abs are worth millions."

"Money is nice, but I'd give it all up for... myself."

"I'm not egotistical - I'm just accurate."

"Adventure is just a rating opportunity waiting to happen."

"The path to peace is through a good moisturizer."

"Education is important, but charm gets you further."

"Courage is facing the camera with total confidence."

"I've anchored my hopes on one thing: me."

"Knowledge is power, but a great suit is more powerful."

"Friendship is overrated when you're this fabulous."

"The best time to focus on yourself is always."

"I'm not vain - I'm just accurately assessing my superiority."