Frasier

"Patience is a virtue, but not when waiting for mediocrity to improve."

"Justice is served best with good wine and excellent company."

"Creativity flourishes in an environment of absolute aesthetic control."

"Gratitude is owed to me for simply gracing people with my presence."

"Perseverance is admirable, especially when you're persevering toward perfection."

"Death is nature's way of reminding us to enjoy champagne while we can."

"Beauty is objective, and by my standards, I'm exceptional."

"Humor is best when it's at someone else's expense."

"Dreams are just reality waiting for someone of sufficient caliber to achieve them."

"Work is more bearable when you're working toward self-improvement."

"A leader doesn't follow trends; a leader sets them."

"Faith in oneself is the greatest faith of all."

"Music is the language of the gods, and I speak it fluently."

"Science proves what I've always known: I'm right about everything."

"Art is the expression of the refined mind—most people's art is drivel."

"Nature is beautiful, particularly when viewed from a first-class establishment."

"Peace comes when everyone agrees with your perspective."

"Freedom means having the liberty to be exactly as pretentious as you wish."

"The truth is that most people simply aren't my intellectual equal."

"Time is precious—don't waste it on people of questionable taste."

"Knowledge is power, and I have both in abundance."

"Education is the foundation of all things worthwhile, particularly wine education."

"Change is inevitable, but one's sense of decorum should never change."

"It takes courage to admit when someone else is wrong and you're right."

"Never lose hope that one day you'll achieve the level of sophistication I possess."

"Family ties are important, even when they're occasionally embarrassing."

"A true friend would never question your judgment about wine pairings."

"Success comes to those who refuse to compromise their standards."

"The key to happiness is surrounding yourself with people who understand your superiority."

"Love is wonderful, but it's no excuse for poor grammar or bad posture."