Friends

"Kindness is powerful. Sarcasm is more fun."

"Patience is waiting without complaining. I complain constantly."

"Justice is rare. Injustice is common. Welcome to life."

"Creativity is problem-solving in an interesting way. I'm not very interesting."

"Gratitude is important. I'm grateful for air. That's about it."

"Perseverance is just stubbornness with a better PR team."

"Beauty fades. Stupidity is forever. I'm safe."

"Humor is a defense mechanism. I'm very defensive."

"Dreams are just your brain's way of showing you what you'll never achieve."

"Work is a necessary evil. Evil being the operative word."

"Leadership means making decisions other people blame you for."

"Faith is believing without proof. I need proof. And even then I don't believe."

"Music can change your mood. My mood changes every five minutes anyway."

"Science is amazing until you realize science says you're going to die."

"Art is subjective. Bad art is always bad. I would know."

"Nature is beautiful. But not when you're allergic to it."

"Peace is underrated. So is chaos. I live somewhere in the middle."

"Every moment is precious because time is finite. Which is why I waste so much of it."

"Knowledge is useless without the wisdom to use it. I have neither."

"Education teaches you facts. Life teaches you everything that matters."

"Courage is doing the thing you're afraid of. I avoid both."

"Hope springs eternal. Unfortunately, so does disappointment."

"Family can be your biggest support or your biggest burden. Usually both."

"Truth is the first thing you learn to lie about."

"Time flies when you're having fun. And crawls when you're not. Mine crawls."

"The scariest part of commitment is that it requires you to stay."

"Change is inevitable. Growth is optional. I choose neither."

"Wisdom is knowing what you don't know. I'm very wise."

"Friends are the family you choose. Unfortunately, I chose badly."

"Success is subjective. For me, it's not being fired."