Friends

"The key to happiness is lowered expectations. I'm very happy."

"Love is irrational. Which is why I prefer rational fear."

"Could I BE more of a mess?"

"Solitude is nice until you realize you're alone with your thoughts. Then it's terrible."

"Relationships are hard because they involve other people. People are the worst."

"Inspiration is when you finally figure out what you're doing wrong. Usually too late."

"Motivation is temporary. Habit is permanent. I have neither."

"War is bad. Unless it's a food fight. Then it's a little fun."

"Politics is the art of lying convincingly. I'm terrible at it."

"Literature is just fancy words on a page. But sometimes they're really good fancy words."

"Philosophy is asking questions you'll never answer. Which is my whole life."

"History is just a record of people making the same mistakes over and over."

"Technology is amazing. It can also make you completely insane."

"Imagination is more important than facts. Facts are boring."

"Adventure is just what you call it when you get lost and pretend you meant to."

"Health is not about being thin. It's about not feeling like garbage all the time."

"Money doesn't grow on trees. But it grows in wallets of people you can manipulate."

"Power is having the ability to hurt people and choosing not to. Or just choosing to anyway."

"Fear is just your mind trying to protect you. It's very annoying."

"Strength is not about muscles. It's about not crying in public."

"Kindness costs nothing. But it's worth everything. Unless you're paying for dinner."

"Patience is a virtue. I don't have it, but I've heard it's nice."

"Justice is the idea that everyone gets what they deserve. Which is depressing."

"Creativity is just connecting dots that no one else has connected. Badly."

"Gratitude is important. So thank you for listening to me complain."

"Perseverance is just another word for not giving up. Which is exhausting."

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And my eye sees very well."

"Humor is the best medicine. Well, that and actual medicine."

"Dreams are just thoughts your brain has when you're too lazy to think properly."

"Work is what you do when you'd rather be doing anything else."