It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

"I'm a believer in science."

"I don't trust anybody, that's my motto."

"The system is designed by a rat, so a rat is only going to do rat things."

"I'm gonna win a Golden God award one day."

"You gotta understand, I'm a very strong man."

"We're not just friends, we're a family."

"I have a very specific set of skills."

"Kitten mittens - is your cat making TOO MUCH NOISE all the time?"

"I'm the trash man. I come out of the woodwork and I throw trash all over these guys."

"The Gang gets extreme."

"I am a five-star man. I'm a five-star man!"

"I'm not locked in here with you, you're locked in here with me."

"History started when I was born."

"Technology was invented for people like me."

"Reality bends to my imagination."

"Adventure is just my Tuesday."

"My health is optimal because I demand it."

"I don't accumulate power. I emanate it."

"Fear? That's for you, not me."

"I am stronger than all of you combined."

"Kindness is what I show when I'm amused."

"I am impatient with inferiority."

"Justice is blind because it can't meet my gaze."

"My creativity is uncontaminated by ethics."

"I'm grateful only to myself."

"Giving up isn't perseverance. It's surrender."

"Death couldn't diminish my legend."

"I don't celebrate my beauty. It simply exists."

"Funny? No. I'm hilarious. There's a difference."

"My dreams are other people's nightmares."