It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

"Education is a waste. I'm naturally superior."

"Change happens around me, not to me."

"Courage is knowing when to run."

"Hope is for the delusional."

"I don't need family. I am self-sufficient."

"Friendship is a transaction. Nothing more."

"The truth is whatever benefits me most."

"Time is merely a construct I bend to my will."

"I've perfected the art of deception."

"Rules are for people without ambition."

"Love is a tool for the weak. I use it to manipulate."

"The world revolves around me. As it should."

"Beauty means nothing to me. I'm beyond such petty concerns."

"I don't care about anyone but myself. That's the key to happiness."

"Clearly I am the most talented of the group."

"I have a system. A system for success."

"You think I'm just some idiot? I'm highly evolved."

"I'm not a human. I'm a reptile."

"You know what it is, bitch? A five-star man. That's what I am."

"I am a golden god. I am untouchable."

"I'm actually incredibly talented."

"Why won't anyone help me?"

"Can't you see I'm trying?"

"I deserve respect and admiration."

"You're all beneath me, honestly."

"I'm going to change my life."

"Why does everything hurt?"

"I'm not as bad as you think I am."

"You guys make me feel worthless."

"I deserve to be happy."