Peanuts

"Your questions are getting more stupid. Still five cents."

"Wisdom comes with age and superiority."

"Understanding requires intelligence you lack."

"I am my own best company."

"Effort is wasted on the incompetent."

"Your future looks bleak. Five cents for that diagnosis."

"I don't forgive. I just forget you eventually."

"Reality is often disappointing. Look at you."

"You should be paying me for this conversation."

"Marriage seems like a cruel punishment."

"Comedy is an art form. You're not an artist."

"Friendship with you would lower my standards."

"Intelligence is rare. I'm the exception."

"You're getting worse, not better. Still five cents."

"Nothing matters except winning."

"Happiness is recognizing my superiority."

"The world would be better if everyone listened to me."

"Your problems pale in comparison to my magnificence."

"Hope is for fools and failures."

"Success requires stepping on people. I'm very good at that."

"I'm always prepared because I'm always right."

"Death is preferable to listening to you."

"My policies will fix everything wrong with this world."

"Science confirms what I already knew—I'm superior."

"You're not improving. Five cents, please."

"I don't do gratitude. It's beneath me."

"Relationships are temporary. Everything fails eventually."

"Inspiration usually strikes people with talent."

"Motivation is for people with potential."

"That's psychological garbage, five cents please."