Peanuts

"War between us is inevitable, and I'll win."

"Faith is believing in something greater than yourself—like me."

"Literature about romance makes me nauseous."

"Solitude beats company any day."

"Health is important, especially for vain people like me."

"Power goes to those willing to seize it."

"Kindness is weakness in disguise."

"Patience is something other people should have more of."

"Politics and politicians are equally worthless."

"History is full of people more important than you."

"Technology won't save you from yourself."

"Imagination is for people with no real accomplishments."

"Adventures usually end badly. Especially for you."

"Strength is standing alone and not needing anyone."

"Leadership means telling people what they should think."

"Creativity requires talent you simply don't possess."

"I'm grateful for my superior intellect."

"Perseverance is futile for someone as hopeless as you."

"Courage is admitting when you're wrong—which I never am."

"Change is inevitable, and it's usually for the worse."

"Your fear is entirely justified."

"Peace is impossible when I'm in a bad mood."

"Music appreciation is beyond your understanding."

"Nature is fine, I suppose, if you're into that sort of thing."

"Friendship is a waste of emotional energy."

"I've never been wrong about anything."

"Education won't help someone like you."

"Beauty fades, but my personality is eternally wonderful."

"Art appreciation requires a certain level of intellect you clearly lack."

"Dreams are just lies we tell ourselves."