Peanuts

"I'm not being mean—I'm being honest."

"People are fundamentally flawed, mostly you."

"Love is a trap set by nature."

"I charge more now. Inflation, you know."

"Your existence is a disappointment to everyone."

"I don't believe in false hope."

"Why do you even try? You'll just fail anyway."

"I'm always right. It's one of my many fine qualities."

"Real estate is the future. My psychiatric booth is prime real estate."

"I would never lower myself to your level."

"My psychiatry practice is thriving, unlike your love life."

"You need a more positive attitude, you blockhead."

"I don't have time for your problems."

"Happiness is overrated."

"I need to work on my listening skills—you're still talking."

"The world is full of incompetent people."

"I've never been one to hide my feelings."

"Romance is dead."

"All I want is what I deserve."

"Sigmund Freud never charged only five cents!"

"Why should I be nice? Nice doesn't get you anywhere."

"I'm not crabby—I just tell it like it is."

"You blockheads are the most stupid people I've ever met."

"My crabby disposition is hereditary."

"I demand respect! I am a woman, after all."

"Success is just a matter of luck. Ask anyone who's failed."

"Rats! I missed my chance."

"I love humanity. It's people I can't stand."

"Life is full of surprises, and most of them are unpleasant."

"You're a blockhead, Charlie Brown."