SpongeBob SquarePants

"I should have been a neurosurgeon."

"Loneliness is preferable to this company."

"SpongeBob, stop touching me with your friendliness."

"Patrick, you're not helping."

"My talents are completely wasted here."

"I live in a society of simpletons."

"Is there a doctor in the house? Yes, and he's appalled."

"The Krusty Krab is a monument to mediocrity."

"If I ever become successful, it will be despite all of you."

"SpongeBob makes me want to scream."

"I've wasted my life in this restaurant."

"They wouldn't know culture if it hit them in the face."

"Existence is pain."

"I'm destined for greatness, not this mediocrity."

"No one appreciates true artistry anymore."

"Music is the only language that matters."

"I need peace and quiet away from these lunatics."

"SpongeBob's optimism is sickening."

"The universe is against me."

"I wish I had never been born."

"My self-esteem is at an all-time low, and that's saying something."

"One day I'll get a better job and leave this all behind."

"I'm the only rational being in this entire world."

"Why is life so difficult?"

"Every day is a new torture chamber."

"That's it! I've had it with this job!"

"I've lost all faith in humanity."

"SpongeBob is out of his mind and I'm stuck with him."

"People are idiots."

"My clarinet is my only true friend."