The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

"The knack is to not give the book to the reader. The knack is to give the reader the thing that the book is about."

"Going to work is like an adventure into another universe."

"Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so."

"Life... is like a grapefruit."

"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools."

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."

"The major problem is that Ford is going to refuse to have anything to do with a girl who isn't from his home planet."

"This is rather as if you imagine a puddle waking up one morning and thinking, 'This is an interesting world I find myself in'."

"Everything you think you know is wrong."

"I'd far rather be happy than right any day."

"There's nothing left to do but say goodbye."

"The fact that we live here is as odd as anything I know."

"Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job."

"Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans."

"Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?"

"This must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays."

"I may be a sorry case, but I don't write jokes in base thirteen."

"You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish."

"Reality is frequently inaccurate."

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming like the passengers in his car."

"This must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays."

"Ford, you're turning into a penguin. Stop it."

"I'm 50,000 times more intelligent than you and even I don't know what's going on."

"Here I am, brain the size of a planet, and they ask me to take you to the bridge."

"Life, don't talk to me about life."

"You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paraell Universe J?"

"I've seen it. It's rubbish."

"I wish I had my towel."

"Ah, this is clearly some strange usage of the word 'safe' I was previously unaware of."

"I'd far rather be happy than right any day."