The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

"Inspiration strikes like lightning, or in my case, like a hammer."

"Motivation comes from within, usually from deep psychological trauma."

"War is peace if you're winning."

"Politics is just controlled chaos with better PR."

"Literature teaches us about human nature. I've gone beyond that."

"Philosophy asks why, but I prefer to ask why not."

"History repeats itself, and I plan to repeat it in my favor."

"Technology connects us all, whether we like it or not."

"Imagination is dangerous in the hands of someone like me."

"Adventure is out there, and I've created my own version."

"Health is important, especially when you need to run from authorities."

"Money can buy happiness if happiness is really just compliance."

"Power comes to those willing to take it by any means necessary."

"Fear is my greatest motivator and my closest companion."

"True strength is the ability to make others believe you're normal."

"Kindness is weakness wearing a friendly mask."

"Patience is a virtue I've perfected over decades of planning."

"Justice is whatever I decide it is on any given Tuesday."

"Creativity is best expressed through elaborate schemes."

"Gratitude is wasted on the ungrateful, like most of society."

"Perseverance is key, especially when pursuing the impossible."

"Death is just the ultimate ending to a very long relationship."

"Beauty fades, but psychological scars are forever."

"Humor is a coping mechanism for the deeply disturbed."

"Dreams are just reality's way of disappointing you slowly."

"Work is what gives life meaning, especially when it's sinister."

"A good leader knows when to listen and when to imprison people."

"Faith is believing in something you can't see, like my humanity."

"Music soothes the savage beast, but I'm beyond salvation."

"Science explains everything except why I am the way I am."