The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

"Power is what you have when everyone needs you more than you need them."

"Fear is a luxury I can't afford to indulge in."

"I'm strong because I've never had to be anything else."

"Kindness is showing other wealthy people you have good breeding."

"I have no patience for anything that doesn't serve my interests."

"Justice is whatever my lawyer says it is."

"Creativity is nice if it's creative enough to make you money."

"I'm grateful for my life, my money, and my excellent taste."

"I persevere through life the way I do everything—with grace and unlimited funds."

"Wisdom and age go together, like good wine and expensive glasses."

"I've never needed hope because I've never needed anything I couldn't buy."

"Real knowledge is knowing who to know."

"Education teaches you to think. I prefer to leave that to consultants."

"The secret to a good marriage is a good prenup."

"My dreams all come true because I can afford them."

"Work is what happens when you're not rich enough to do nothing."

"Leadership is telling people what to do while they're too intimidated to argue."

"I have faith in my trust fund above all else."

"My favorite music is the sound of my dividends depositing."

"I don't understand science, and I don't need to."

"Art is an investment, like everything else in my life."

"Nature is beautiful when viewed from an air-conditioned penthouse."

"Peace comes from knowing you're better than everyone else."

"Freedom means never having to fly coach."

"The truth is subjective, like everything else you can buy your way out of."

"Time flies when you're having fun, but it crawls when you're waiting for your Botox to set."

"Family gatherings are nice, unless family has less money than you."

"Courage is my middle name—actually it's Marie, but courage sounds better."

"I've never been good with change, which is why I pay people to handle it."

"Happiness is a warm puppy, but I prefer happiness with a warm puppy that costs $5,000."