Humor Quotes

"I'm not a bird, okay? Stop calling me a bird."

"I'm actually the victim in every scenario."

"Why am I always the punchline?"

"This is absolutely ridiculous."

"You're all idiots."

"Humor, when used wisely, can diffuse even the tensest situations."

"Humor is medicine for the soul."

"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard."

"Humor is best when it's at someone else's expense."

"Humor is the spice of life, and I'm the chef."

"I'm not just a pretty face, I've got a brain too. Well, mostly a pretty face."

"Humor is the best medicine for just about everything."

"I'm the trash man!"

"Men are like coffee - they're much better when they're hot."

"You want my advice? Don't take my advice."

"Humor is the best medicine, except for actual medicine."

"The only thing constant in life is that I'm always right."

"It's a dog eat dog world, and I'm wearing Milk-Bone underwear."

"I'm in a glass case of emotion."

"Humor is tragedy plus time, or plus drinks."

"I'm not a bird, okay? I don't know why you keep calling me that."

"Humor is how I deal with the absurdity of life."

"If you can't laugh at your pain, you'll drown in it."

"Laughter is medicine I can't afford."

"I'm not a bird, okay? Stop calling me that."

"You gotta help me, I'm in a glass case of emotion!"

"I've been cultivating mass."

"Humor is the best medicine for the soul."

"Laughter is the best medicine there is."

"I am the trash man. I come out of the trash, all over these guys."