Humor Quotes

"Life would be better if everyone just did what I said."

"I'm not bossy, I'm just always right."

"Adults are so annoying. I can't wait to be one."

"Everyone else is just background noise in my life."

"I'm the best thing that ever happened to this family."

"You know what? Nobody's cooler than me anyway."

"The only opinion that matters is mine."

"I've got style, brains, and charisma. What do you have?"

"I'm not trying to be difficult, I'm just naturally perfect."

"The world needs more people like me."

"You can't handle someone as cool as me."

"You guys are so lucky you know me."

"You're all beneath me, but I tolerate you anyway."

"You can't tell me what to do because I'm awesome."

"Everything is better because I said so."

"Shut up, Meg."

"All right, all right, calm down. It's just a little rape."

"Giggity!"

"Why is there a dead Asian guy in our living room?"

"Holy crap!"

"That's the most brilliant idea I've heard... since last week when you said we should eat that entire cake."

"You know what really grinds my gears? People who... oh, I'll think of something."

"Woop-de-doo!"

"I'm Peter Griffin. You might remember me from such places as my house."

"Is that a Jew?"

"I find the most erotic thing in the world is the crotch. Of the opposite sex."

"That's funny, I don't remember this part of Sesame Street."

"Sweet lion of Damascus!"

"Hehehehe, that was great."

"I'm drunk, I'm in love, and I'm gonna do something stupid."