Humor Quotes

"I'm not gay, but I'm willing to learn."

"All I know is football should not be called football. You throw it with your hands."

"I have no idea what you just said, but I agree completely."

"You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in France? Actually, I have no idea."

"That's neat! Can I eat it?"

"Everything I do is justified because I'm confused."

"I'm not gonna say I told you so, but... I told you so."

"I don't know what you're saying, but you're right."

"I think I know what the problem is. But I'm not gonna tell you."

"The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about."

"I'm not saying I'm a genius, but I've never been proven wrong."

"I've learned that humor is the best medicine."

"The universe has a sense of humor."

"I'm no hero. I put my pants on just like everyone else, one leg at a time. Except, once my pants are on, I make gold-encrusted decisions."

"Ugh, I'm dead inside."

"Tina, you're scaring the customers."

"Everything hurts and I'm dying."

"I live for the bus."

"Butts."

"I'm not crying, I'm just leaking."

"If I don't respond, I'm probably dead."

"I'm not awkward, I'm just comfortable being uncomfortable."

"Ew, gross, love is so gross."

"I'm not being dramatic, you're being dramatic."

"I'm only awkward when people are around."

"School dances are just organized suffering."

"People like you make people like me write angry fiction."

"If I had a dollar for every time I was misunderstood, I'd have enough to buy my dreams."

"The only thing I'm good at is being bad at things."

"Humor is the best drum solo - timing is everything."