Humor Quotes

"Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying."

"Life's too short not to find humor in it."

"I'm going to go have a cigarette right now. Want a smoke? You don't smoke, right, right."

"That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age."

"Humor helps us cope with life's difficulties."

"I'm a never-nude. It's a lifestyle choice."

"Making people laugh is my greatest joy."

"I don't understand the question, and I won't respond to it."

"I'm afraid I just blue myself."

"The ocean called—it wants its smell back."

"Humor is how we survive the unbearable."

"Oh. My. God."

"Could I BE any more fabulous?"

"I'm not bossy, I'm just helpful and people don't understand me."

"Why fit in when you were born to stand out?"

"I'm afraid I prematurely ejaculated."

"Laughter is the best medicine for the soul."

"Humor is a way to cope with life's challenges."

"I don't understand the question, and I won't respond to it."

"I need a vodka rocks."

"That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age."

"I need the deck... for sitting."

"That's what I get for trying to be fancy."

"I've never actually met a gay person... I don't think."

"I think what I have to offer is a lot of charm."

"I've been a very good mother."

"This is why I can't have nice things."

"Life is precious. Expensive drinks are more precious."

"I've never been wrong about anything."

"I'm not materialistic... much."