Humor Quotes

"I'm going to be honest with you - I have no idea what I'm doing."

"If life gives you lemons, just tell people they're limes and charge more."

"I learned early that if you're going to fail, fail spectacularly."

"The only person you need to impress is yourself, and I'm very easily impressed."

"I've mastered the art of looking busy while doing nothing."

"I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious."

"If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice."

"The worst thing about prison was the Dementors."

"I'm like an octopus. I get into all sorts of stuff."

"I am Beyoncé, always."

"Humor is how we cope with reality."

"I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious."

"I don't have regrets, mostly because I can't remember."

"Some people are just born weird, and that's okay."

"I laugh at things most people would cry about."

"My life is stranger than any fiction."

"Oh. My. God."

"I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious."

"Why are you the way that you are? Honestly, every time I try to do something fun or exciting, you make it... not that."

"I use humor to cope with difficult situations."

"I'm afraid I just blue myself."

"That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age."

"Come on!"

"That's going to leave a mark."

"You can't just comb that hair."

"I'm not even supposed to be here."

"I'm going to be sick."

"I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious."

"Humor is often the best way to cope with life's challenges."

"Humor is a coping mechanism for life's pain."