Humor Quotes

"My ideal woman has a little meat on her bones."

"I would consider myself an excellent driver."

"I'm running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good."

"It's not the size of the boat, it's the motion in the ocean."

"I'm not a bad guy. I just have bad timing."

"I believe in second chances. That's why I have three wives."

"I've learned that it's important to laugh at yourself."

"I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious."

"I have 13 half-eaten containers of yogurt in my desk."

"That's what she said. And I mean that literally."

"A good sense of humor can get you through anything."

"I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious."

"You're killin' me, you know that?"

"You're driving me meshuga!"

"You think this is funny?"

"That's the most ridiculous thing!"

"What are you, an idiot?"

"These pretzels are making me thirsty!"

"Hello, Newman."

"The jerk store called - they're running out of you!"

"That's what friends do - they lie."

"I'm Poppy Harlow, and I approve this message."

"These pretzels are making me thirsty."

"A little humor goes a long way."

"Laughter is the best medicine."

"A sense of humor is essential in any business."

"A good laugh makes any business meeting better."

"Giddy up!"

"These pretzels are making me thirsty."

"Kenny Bania - he's a funny guy."