Humor Quotes

"I'm not racist. I have no problems with the races. I don't watch them very often."

"Dwight, you ignorant slut."

"Sometimes you just have to eat your feelings."

"I'm a breast man. I'm all about friendship."

"Snip snap snip snap. You'll get your information."

"I don't want to sound racist, but that's usually the start of a racist sentence."

"Silence is golden, but my mouth is platinum."

"I don't want to sound dumb, but what's a haiku?"

"These pretzels are making me thirsty."

"Hello, gorgeous!"

"Laugh more - life is too short not to."

"Humor is how we cope with life."

"I'm wearing a bra!"

"The jerk store called, and they're running out of you!"

"These pretzels are making me thirsty."

"A woman knocking on the door... I'm very excited!"

"Frank Costanza here..."

"My brain is on fire!"

"What's wrong with being a little crazy?"

"Sometimes you just have to laugh!"

"Why does everyone always want to bite me?"

"Humor is a coping mechanism for survival."

"These pretzels are making me thirsty."

"Giddy up! A little giddyup!"

"You gotta have a sense of humor about life."

"These pretzels are making me thirsty."

"She has man hands."

"I don't understand the question, and I won't respond to it."

"The jerk store called, and they're running out of you."

"The answer is no."