Humor Quotes

"The world needs more people like me."

"If I wanted to spend my evening with an intellectually superior being, I'd get a dog."

"Humor is my defense against the crushing weight of existence."

"Laughter is the sound of giving up gracefully."

"These pretzels are making me thirsty."

"The door is my enemy, but I always seem to win."

"Humor is the antidote to a serious world."

"These pretzels are making me thirsty."

"Get out! No, you get out!"

"I'm at an age where my back goes out more than I do."

"Sometimes you just have to laugh at yourself."

"Laughter is the best medicine."

"Life is more fun when you don't take it seriously."

"Life without laughter is a waste."

"Humor is the best medicine, except for actual medicine."

"Laughter is the best response to pain."

"Laughter really does heal the soul."

"Humor is the antidote to despair."

"Humor reveals truth in ways seriousness cannot."

"Even in darkness, laughter finds a way."

"Humor is the wisdom of those who refuse despair."

"Every scar is a badge of honor earned in combat."

"These pretzels are making me thirsty."

"Why do they call it Ovaltine? The mug is round, the jar is round, they should call it Roundtine."

"What's the big whoop?"

"The jerk store called, and they're all out of you."

"I'm somewhere around a seven, maybe a six-and-a-half."

"Could I BE any more neurotic?"

"Godzilla!"

"That's gold, Jerry! Gold!"