Humor Quotes

"Cartwright!"

"I'm out! These pretzels ARE making me thirsty!"

"I'm giving myself a hand."

"What's the difference between a hamper and a laundry basket?"

"Timberrrr!"

"It's a write-off!"

"I want an eggplant parmigiana."

"Maybe people just need to laugh."

"Do these pretzels taste bad to you?"

"That's a $50,000 suit!"

"These are my moves."

"Not for me!"

"I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious."

"The Bizzaro Jerry."

"Humor eases the burden of existence."

"You know what really grinds my gears? Grading papers."

"I need a drink. Or twelve."

"I find humor in other people's misery. Especially if it's a student's."

"Humor is the only weapon against despair."

"Humor lightens the burden of our shared struggle."

"Humor is the best way to survive impossible situations."

"Humor is wisdom wearing a smile."

"Humor lightens even the darkest burdens."

"Laughter echoes longer than silence."

"These pretzels are making me thirsty."

"The jerk store called, they're running out of you."

"I'll have what she's having."

"I snapped my big toe."

"No soup for you!"

"I'm very very upset."