Humor Quotes

"Everything tastes bad."

"I'm not like other girls."

"I have no redeeming qualities."

"Love is stupid and I hate it."

"I would rather die than be happy."

"This is the most uncomfortable I have ever been."

"I don't want to do anything."

"The world is a nightmare."

"I have given up on life."

"I have nothing to offer anyone."

"I'm the worst version of myself."

"I want to leave and never come back."

"I appreciate the effort, but I don't appreciate anything else about this."

"This is bad and I'm upset."

"I'm going to internalize this forever."

"Humor is my defense mechanism."

"Everyone is terrible, including me."

"Life gives you lemons, make cosmopolitans."

"Why do we need men when we have credit cards?"

"Bad relationships make good stories."

"What's the point of being an adult if you can't eat cupcakes for dinner?"

"You can't buy happiness, but you can buy fabulous shoes."

"I don't believe in the Republican Party or the Democratic Party. I just believe in parties."

"There's nothing wrong with a little retail therapy."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy Chanel."

"Life is about having fun and looking good while doing it."

"When I die, I want my body donated to science. But first, I'm donating it to magic."

"You can't buy happiness, but you can buy shoes. Close enough."

"Why would anyone ever eat anything other than bacon?"

"Leslie, I typed your symptoms into the thing up here and it says you could have network connectivity problems."