Humor Quotes

"Ugh, everything is terrible."

"I don't understand any of these words."

"I'm going to become a ghost and haunt you."

"I'm allergic to fun."

"Dead inside but make it fashion."

"You just had sex with the worst person in the world."

"I'm going to die angry."

"I'm going to enjoy this feeling for exactly fifteen seconds."

"I hate feelings. They make me feel bad."

"I have contempt for all living things."

"Go away, I hate you."

"I'm slowly dying inside, which is fine."

"I'm dead inside but my outside still works."

"I have zero interest in personal growth."

"Humor is how we connect with each other on a deeper level."

"I'm not crying. I'm just sweating from my eyes."

"You're gonna want to call someone. I'd call everyone."

"If I wanted your opinion, I would ask for it."

"You're lucky I'm even talking to you."

"You are the human form of the colon portion of a smiley face."

"Everything is the worst thing ever and I want to go to there."

"If I had to describe myself, I'd say I'm a human golden retriever."

"When I walk into a room, people say 'She's the most optimistic person in the world.'"

"I love waffles more than any human should."

"Humor helps you get through the hardest times."

"I'm not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a goofy joke instead?"

"I'm not interested in caring about things. I'd rather die."

"I'm going to punch you in the face with my fist."

"I appreciate the opportunity, but I'm going to turn this down."

"I don't understand the question, and I won't respond to it."