Humor Quotes

"Humor is the best medicine, except I prefer actual medicine and humor together."

"Crying: it's just peeing, but from your eyes."

"I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious."

"Humor is my defense mechanism against existence."

"Eventually all the pieces fall into place. Until then, laugh at the confusion."

"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most."

"Being in love is a full-time job for which you are unqualified."

"I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious."

"Why would anyone ever eat anything other than bacon?"

"There's no such thing as a stupid question, only stupid people."

"I'm the most interesting person I know."

"Humor makes life bearable."

"I'm not crying. I'm just allergic to everything."

"Keep laughing, because humor makes life bearable."

"Humor is the best medicine for sadness."

"Everything is the worst thing that's ever happened."

"Why would anyone ever eat anything other than breakfast food?"

"Ugh, I just realized something. I have to be an adult today."

"If I died tomorrow, two hundred people would come to my funeral just to make sure I was actually dead."

"I need to be very clear about something: I did not fall down these stairs."

"There's been a murder in Bikini Bottom!"

"I should be working right now, but instead I'm making a chart about the chart I'm going to make."

"I'm not crying about it. I'm just very emotionally responsive to things."

"I will punch you in the face if you stand between me and something I want."

"I'm the type of person who makes binders for fun."

"Ben, you're like the human equivalent of the sound a closing door makes."

"I am a walking libido. Deal with it."

"I'm like a human Golden Retriever. I have energy and I love everybody."

"I have reached my adult form. I am now the ultimate version of myself."

"I feel like I should be writing this down, but I don't want to stop eating these waffles."