Humor Quotes

"The worst thing about prison was the dementors."

"Oh my god, I can't believe you don't know that!"

"I'm not saying I'm crazy; I'm just saying my thoughts are a little... unconventional."

"I've never been good at following rules, and look how well that's worked out!"

"How you doin'?"

"I'm not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"

"Could I BE any more of a mess?"

"I'm like a chick magnet, except I don't actually attract chicks."

"I'm more of a joke guy than a detail guy."

"I'm not great with the big words and the concepts."

"I'm a nice guy, right?"

"It's better to laugh than cry."

"Sometimes you just gotta wing it."

"Blerg! That's my official complaint about everything."

"Humor is the best way to deal with your problems, or so I keep telling myself."

"If you have a problem, don't solve it - make it bigger and more dramatic."

"Humor is just tragedy with better timing."

"Sprinkles are for winners, Dwight."

"Humor is the best way to connect with people."

"Humor helps me navigate difficult situations."

"Could I be any more awkward?"

"You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris? Just kidding, I have no idea."

"Could there BE any more pressure to be perfect?"

"I'm not great at goodbyes, which is ironic given how many jobs I've left."

"The problem with being funny is that people expect you to be happy all the time."

"Beauty fades, but humor is forever. Hopefully."

"Could I BE any more of a paleontologist?"

"I'm not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"

"That's so typical of you!"

"Great job on being alive."