Humor Quotes

"I've never been in love. But I've been drunk a lot of times."

"I'm not vain, but I do spend a lot of time looking at myself in the mirror."

"I believe that every person has a special gift. Mine is making things about me."

"Beauty fades, but stupidity is forever. Good thing I'm attractive AND smart."

"I'm not addicted to anything. I just really, really like certain things a lot."

"Humor is how I cope with life's difficulties."

"You know what they call a quarter pounder with cheese in Paris?"

"That's what she said."

"Oh my God, I have a toothache and a stomach ache at the same time. It's like my body is having a war and nobody invited me."

"I'm not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"

"They don't know that we know they know."

"I'm funny, right? I make people laugh. I'm like the funny one."

"How you doin'? Just kidding, only Joey says that."

"Laughter is the best medicine. Also, actual medicine is good too."

"Could I BE any more of a mess?"

"My job is to explain my jokes, not to make them."

"Could this BE any more awkward?"

"My name is Chandler Bing and I support this message."

"Could we swing any faster on the mood swings?"

"LOOK AT ME! I'M A FARMER!"

"That's funny, but also very sad."

"I'm not even a real person."

"I've been known to make a joke here and there."

"I'm a sarcastic comment away from being completely lost."

"I'm not trying to be funny, I just am."

"I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to hurt you now."

"Could I BE wearing any more clothes?"

"Could this get any more depressing?"

"That's my life, ladies and gentlemen."

"Could this BE more uncomfortable?"