Humor Quotes

"I'm gonna laugh because I do not want to cry."

"Could this situation BE any stranger?"

"Could I possibly care any less?"

"That's not even a word and I agree with it."

"Could this BE more of a disaster?"

"Could you BE any more neurotic?"

"I'm comfortable enough with myself to laugh at myself."

"That's the saddest thing I've ever heard."

"Could I BE more pathetic?"

"Could this BE any more awkward for me?"

"Could this conversation BE any more uncomfortable?"

"I'm actually quite clever."

"Could you BE any less helpful?"

"This is the story of my life."

"Could this BE more confusing?"

"Could this BE less appealing?"

"That's what happens when you're me."

"Could I have any worse timing?"

"Could this BE more ridiculous?"

"Could this get any worse?"

"I'm not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"

"I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious."

"That's what she said."

"Mistake number one: I'm Jim Halpert."

"I have no game."

"I am running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good."

"Fact: Bears eat beets. Bears, beets, Battlestar Galactica."

"I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious."

"I want to be a Cobb salad."

"That's what she said. Or he said. Or it said."