Humor Quotes

"Good morning. And in case I don't see you, good afternoon, good evening, and good night."

"A meeting is just men talking about things they don't really understand."

"Wine improves with age. I improve with wine."

"I have had the pleasure of knowing a great many men."

"Humor is a weapon against despair."

"I appreciate a good sense of humor in dark times."

"A man with no neck has no business wearing a crown."

"Jokes are better than anger."

"Why is it that all dwarves are bastards?"

"The more I drink, the cleverer I become."

"You think my life is pathetic? I know it is."

"I drink because the wine is good."

"I wanted to sleep, but I got the night watch."

"A jest is only funny if I am not the subject."

"The dwarf lives until we find a cock merchant."

"Am I to be made knight of flowers now?"

"I am the god of tits and wine."

"I have never been accused of modesty."

"The war is won by the first person to laugh."

"I find humor in dark places."

"Humor helps me endure."

"Humor in dark times is survival."

"You know what I realized? My great grandfather's beer was called Schnapps. No, wait, that's not my great grandfather's beer."

"You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris?"

"The world is full of idiots."

"Humor helps us get through tough times."

"Humor is the best medicine."

"Laughter is the best medicine for a troubled soul."

"I've always been partial to missing fingers."

"The gods have a twisted sense of humor."