Humor Quotes

"Smithers, release the robotic Richard Simmons!"

"Have the rolling stones killed."

"Excellent, Smithers. Now kill him."

"Laughter? That's the sound of weakness escaping the body."

"Smithers, have the happiness squad destroy fun."

"Och, ye cannae teach an old dog new tricks, but ye can teach 'em to drink more whisky!"

"Och, life's too serious to no' have a bit of laugh now and then."

"Life's too short to no' laugh at yourself sometimes."

"*pacifier sucking sound*"

"*plays peek-a-boo with glee*"

"*giggles at siblings' chaos*"

"*giggles at life's joys*"

"I'm not a gynecologist, but I'll take a look."

"You can't spell 'slut' without 'ut', and you can't spell 'Moe's' without 'Moe's'."

"Laughter is the best medicine, but beer is a close second."

"Humor is the only thing keeping me from complete despair."

"Me fail English? That's unpossible!"

"I'm gonna go back in time and punch you in the stomach before you came up with this stupid plan."

"Can I have the bathroom key? I can't seem to find it."

"I bent my wookiee."

"Groundskeeper Willie. He's gonna have a fine time with you."

"Reading is for people who can't watch TV."

"Scrabble gets the people going."

"My cat's breath smells like cat food."

"How am I diddly-doing?"

"My legs don't work."

"The secret word is 'hammock.'"

"Jackpot!"

"I'm riding on my mom!"

"I'm going inside to make sweet love to the television set."