Humor Quotes

"I believe the answer is... down."

"I found a pebble shaped like... another pebble."

"Jiminy jilickers!"

"That's some good shootin'."

"I didn't do nothing."

"The answer is 'B' for you."

"I got directions from a hobo. He also said the train smells like flowers."

"The color is 'octarine'."

"I can't believe I ate the whole thing."

"Ha-ha!"

"You're a nerd, and nerds are gay. I should know, I'm the most in-tune with my sexuality here."

"You're dumb and I like it."

"I'm laughing at you, not with you."

"Your mom jokes are my specialty."

"I'm not fat, I'm fluffy with menace."

"Woo-hoo!"

"I'm not an alcoholic. Alcoholics go to meetings. I go to Moe's."

"I've hit rock bottom. Found some loose change down there though."

"Humor is the best medicine. Beer is the best everything else."

"My legacy? Maybe making people laugh at my failures."

"Humor should never come at the expense of others' dignity."

"Humor connects us and brings joy, when used appropriately."

"Crime and football season are both in the fall!"

"A good joke is worth a thousand serious moments!"

"Laughter is the best medicine, and I'm the best pharmacist!"

"Laughter is contagious, and I'm patient zero!"

"You want to be funny? Live a funny life!"

"That's what I love about being a cartoon mouse - the violence never gets old!"

"The greatest jokes are the ones that end in violence."

"The greatest comedies end in cathartic violence."