Humor Quotes

"He hit me with a muumuu!"

"I'm a four-umpire baseball!"

"Stupid Flanders!"

"You're just jealous because I'm young and popular."

"It tastes like burning."

"Do you want to have the fire NET IN the car? Because that's how you get the fire net IN the car."

"My mommy says that babies are made when an angel lights its hair on fire."

"The winner gets to decide how to spend the money."

"I don't understand the question and I won't respond to it."

"I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells."

"Principal Seymour has a rapist's laugh."

"I'm the bus driver now!"

"My dog's got a brand new bag."

"Ay caramba! I got detention!"

"Go banana!"

"I have a hammer, it doesn't have a head!"

"I'm Ralph, and I like shorts."

"Ralph is a stupid dumb idiot."

"I am not currently sober."

"We don't ask questions, we just shoot."

"I want candy."

"Humor should never come at the expense of others' feelings."

"Laughter is good for the soul, within reason."

"*sucking pacifier*"

"Every dream starts as a giggle"

"Humor heals all wounds"

"Pukahontas!"

"I've hit rock bottom, and somehow I'm still digging."

"I may not have much, but I have my pride. Just kidding, I sold that long ago."

"I've had many jobs, and I've quit them all with honor."