Humor Quotes

"I've been kicked out of better bars than this."

"Humor is how I cope with my pathetic existence."

"That's a ten-four, good buddy!"

"Humor helps us through the toughest times with grace."

"Laughter is truly the best medicine for the heart."

"Okily-dokily, that's the diddly-doodly truth of it!"

"Mmm... donuts."

"I'm trying very hard to be professional, but I keep giggling."

"Hey, I'm gonna go drink your beer!"

"Pukahontas!"

"It's funny because it's true."

"I'm not normally a praying man, but...tonight I'm gonna pray for a keg."

"Education? That's for people who aren't as naturally talented as me."

"The world doesn't revolve around beer... but it should."

"I've tried sobriety, and I didn't like it."

"Fear is just a word, usually followed by 'of Lard Lad Donuts'."

"Technology? I'm still trying to figure out the bottle opener."

"Literature? I can barely read."

"I've been through rehab so many times, they named a wing after me."

"Health is just the slowest possible way to die."

"Humor is the best medicine, after alcohol."

"Why chase the mouse when you can just use dynamite?"

"Humor is the best medicine - right after violence."

"Humor is the most effective weapon in my arsenal."

"Humor helps us survive life's absurdities."

"Humor is the best medicine, second only to actual medicine and money."

"A joke that lands is worth a thousand words."

"A day without humor is a day without ka-ching."

"Eat my shorts!"

"Ay caramba!"