Humor Quotes

"Humor is the universal language of mice and cats."

"I'm trying to think of a time when I cared about what you just said."

"Your tears of unfathomable sadness are yummy."

"Sentiment is for the poor, Smithers."

"Why build a better mousetrap when you can own the mice?"

"My greatest achievement is my contempt for others."

"*pacifier sucking sound*"

"*pacifier pop*"

"If something is hard to do, then it's not worth doing."

"Man, I'm glad I'm not a boy."

"Dad, you don't have to act dumb."

"Homer, you're not stupid, you're just not thinking."

"Ralph, you're intellectually challenged."

"Eat my shorts!"

"Ay caramba!"

"Being bad feels pretty good."

"Humor is the best defense against authority."

"The trick is not getting caught doing the prank."

"A good laugh beats a good beating every time."

"I'm not a doctor, but I play one at the bar."

"A man walks into a bar... it's me."

"I don't get no respect, I tell ya."

"You gotta laugh so you don't cry. I do both."

"I'm eating my shorts."

"Ay caramba!"

"Eat my shorts, man."

"I bent my Wookie."

"My cat's breath smells like cat food."

"Principal Skinner is an old man who smells like old man."

"I'm with stupid."