Humor Quotes

"The only thing worse than being a robot is being a human."

"If you can't beat 'em, steal their stuff and run away."

"If you really think about it, everything is funny when it involves human suffering."

"If I had to choose between you and a sandwich, I'd choose the sandwich."

"The world needs more robots like me and fewer humans like you."

"I'm not saying I'm better than you, but I'm also not not saying it."

"D'oh!"

"Trying is the first step toward failure"

"If something is hard to do, then it's not worth doing"

"Operator! Give me the number for 911"

"The only thing more important than my family is beer"

"Are you trying to kill me?"

"I've worked hard to become the lazy slob I am today"

"You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is: never try"

"Stupid Flanders!"

"A gun is not a weapon, Marge. It's a tool. Like a butcher's knife or a gun"

"I have a gun, and a gun and a gun"

"I don't need friends, I have a TV"

"I need my cell phone back. My friends need to think I'm popular"

"Nothing you say can upset me. I'm on the Internet"

"I'm not normally a drinking man, but when I am, I'm the best"

"Sweet mother of donuts!"

"I don't have a gambling problem. I have a solution that requires gambling"

"These pretzels are making me thirsty"

"I'm not dumb. I'm unemployed"

"Never try. Trying is the first step towards failure"

"When all else fails, there's always beer"

"I'm not stupid, I just have more fun"

"I don't understand how you don't understand how I don't understand"

"Kill all humans!"