Humor Quotes

"I'm going to call you back on that one."

"Enid, you're a virgin who can't drive, so let's not point fingers."

"I don't know how, but you've managed to out nerd me."

"You can't just ask people why they're white."

"As if I would ever subject myself to the social humiliation of public transportation."

"That's not a real emotion."

"You're stranded in the desert without a ride."

"I can't believe she lost it in the Canyon."

"Life is a popularity contest, and I'm winning."

"I'm not perfect, but I'm close enough."

"The world revolves around people like me."

"As if! That is so not happening."

"Sporadically."

"She's a full-on moron. Don't ask."

"Why should I drive miles to eat some big beans?"

"This is totally inadequate."

"Get me a latte or I'm gonna die."

"Ew! As if would I do that?"

"Humor makes life bearable."

"Laughter is the best remedy for any situation."

"Humor helps us survive even the darkest moments."

"I'm sorry, that's a bitter laugh but I did it because it's funny."

"The whole purpose of places like Starbucks is for people with no decision-making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee."

"I can walk straight. I can walk a straight line."

"Reindeer are better than people."

"As if! I would never."

"Sporadically."

"Ew! As if I would ever."

"Whatever!"

"You're a virgin who can't drive."