Humor Quotes

"She doesn't even go here"

"I'm an addict. I need it. I'm dying without it"

"He's like a human Golden Retriever"

"My manual says I shouldn't"

"Everything is a phase for you. You're very emotional"

"I mean, we could all go crazy and like, actually read the material"

"I've created a monster. She's like the Frankenstein of bad dating decisions"

"I'm basically the queen of recycling old relationships"

"I'm fluent in sarcasm and judgement"

"The universe rewards those who dress well"

"I'm going to go have a donut and contemplate my choices"

"Being manipulative is just knowing what people want before they do"

"Humor is the best medicine for the weary soul."

"Humor heals wounds that seriousness cannot touch."

"Humor helps us through the toughest times."

"Laughter is the best medicine for a heavy heart."

"The humor you find in life is naïve at best, dangerous at worst."

"Reindeer are better than people."

"I'm not good with emotions."

"Maybe I'll try being thinner."

"I think humor is a way of processing difficult emotions."

"As if! I would never."

"Sporadically."

"Calling her Grandma is going to make me sound like I'm one foot in the grave myself."

"You're a virgin who can't drive."

"Just buggin'."

"She's all bumpy and gross, OK?"

"I'm totally buggin'."

"Hello, you wore the same dress to school yesterday."

"Why should I listen to you anyway? You're like, the yearbook picture of a Breckin Meyer movie."