Humor Quotes

"You're all idiots."

"I'm going to say the word 'paradigm' again because it sounds cool."

"You guys are being really weird right now."

"Stop looking at me like I'm insane."

"I'm a very interesting person."

"That's racist. No wait, that's probably not racist."

"You're all being very immature right now."

"I have excellent social skills."

"I'm not the problem here. You guys are."

"That doesn't even make sense."

"You're all crazy. I'm the only normal one here."

"This is ridiculous."

"I'm not a moron. I'm only a dumbass."

"Cool. Cool cool cool cool cool."

"That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age."

"I'm not drunk, I'm just ahead of schedule."

"You're like the human equivalent of a participation trophy."

"Let's make a pact: no more growing as people."

"I'm not going to let you ruin my day with your logic."

"I'm not smart, I just play one on TV."

"Sometimes the best way to solve a problem is to create a bigger problem."

"I'm going to be the best version of myself - which is still pretty mediocre."

"I don't always have the answers, but I'm really good at pretending."

"That's going to be a no from me, dawg."

"I'm too cool for school - which is ironic since I'm always at school."

"I'm going to take that as a compliment."

"I'm not trying to be difficult, I'm just naturally talented at it."

"I'm going to pretend I understood what you just said."

"That's either the worst or best idea you've ever had."

"I've never met someone I couldn't disappoint."