Humor Quotes

"Humor is just a coping mechanism for an absurd world."

"Comedy is how we survive absurdity."

"I think I'm allergic to mornings."

"I'm always right, which is another way of saying I'm never wrong."

"I love mankind. It's people I can't stand."

"I hate going to bed. I hate getting up. I hate everything!"

"Every now and then I meet a dog who makes me feel inferior."

"I find it very difficult to accept a compliment."

"Oh my stars and garters!"

"Sometimes you just have to laugh at life's absurdities."

"Laughter is the best medicine for a troubled spirit."

"Some people laugh at my blanket, but they're missing out."

"There's nothing funny about blankets; they're sacred."

"Good grief!"

"My own dog laughed at me."

"If I had any brains, I'd be dangerous."

"You gotta laugh at yourself sometimes. It keeps you sane."

"Humor is how we survive the tough times."

"I ain't prejudiced - I hate everybody equally."

"I'm not sayin' I'm right all the time, but I ain't wrong very often."

"Marriage is a 50-50 proposition - she gets 50, and I get 50."

"A good argument is better than a good laugh any day."

"Why is the rum always gone?"

"Mate, I'm not just a pretty face."

"I've got a jar of dirt!"

"You seem somewhat familiar. Have I threatened you before?"

"I'm not entirely sure what the problem is, mate."

"There are few things more important than a good pair of breeches."

"The lady's fallen in love with me."

"I don't need saving, mate. I need rum."