Humor Quotes

"Isn't it funny how we always expect good things to happen when we really don't deserve them?"

"I think I'm allergic to morning."

"I can't win. I can't even break even."

"I'm too young to have ulcers."

"Maybe I should try being mean to people. It might work better."

"Sometimes I think my head is so filled with useless information that there's no room for anything useful."

"You know what they call a person who always tells the truth? Unemployed."

"How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?"

"I never learn, do I?"

"I used to think I was smart."

"You know what the problem with life is? Everything."

"Maybe I'll just give up. It's easier that way."

"Good grief, I'm exhausted."

"Suffering succotash! That's what I always say."

"A good sense of humor gets you through anything."

"Laughter is the best medicine."

"Sufferin' succotash! That's not how you catch a puddy tat!"

"Laughter is the best medicine for a bruised ego."

"Humor helps us cope with life's hardships."

"Rats! Another day, another disappointment."

"Good grief! Why do things always go wrong for me?"

"The world would be better with more laughter and less worry."

"Good grief, being happy is harder than being sad sometimes."

"Good grief, why must happiness be so elusive sometimes?"

"Where's the kaboom? There was supposed to be an earth-shattering kaboom!"

"This makes me angrier than the time they put Tabasco sauce in my Metamucil."

"I appreciate a good sense of humor, even from my victims."

"Humor is the best medicine, second only to obliteration."

"Humor? I'm funny whether you like it or not!"

"You're a blockhead, Charlie Brown."