Humor Quotes

"I'm not running away; I'm strategically retreating."

"I got a rock."

"I can't stand it! I just can't stand it!"

"It's not easy being a dog."

"Beware of the dark cloud that hovers over my head."

"You know what? I don't care."

"Why is it that I have to be the one who is always wrong?"

"Some people are coming in my direction. I better run."

"I wish I had a friend like me."

"The board of directors has decided to let me stay."

"Some people are always trying to find something to complain about."

"I'm sleeping in. Today is not one of my better days."

"I've been thinking about taking a long nap."

"It could be worse, I suppose."

"My stomach is my best friend."

"You're being a real meathead about this whole thing, ya know?"

"A good laugh can fix almost anything, except a broken heart."

"Humor is the best medicine when everything else fails."

"I got a rock."

"Nothing ever goes my way."

"Life is a series of disappointments."

"Rats! I missed my cue."

"The only time I open my mouth is to change feet."

"That's what you think, blockhead."

"My stomach's been hurting all day. I think I have school-itis."

"The best day of my life was the day I didn't have to see your face."

"I got a rock."

"Good grief!"

"I think I have a very rare disease called 'Blockheaditis.'"

"I got an F. I never thought I could fail something I didn't study for."