Humor Quotes

"Comedy is about timing, but life is about showing up."

"The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has."

"Ignorance must be bliss, because some people seem to enjoy it."

"There ought to be one day—just one—when there is open season on senators."

"The trouble with practical jokes is that so often they get practical."

"Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account."

"I see by the papers that we got everything in the world except money."

"The worst income tax is one that don't bring in no revenue."

"The trees in Siberia are growing in the wrong place."

"The more I see of humanity, the more I like my dog."

"I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they do nowadays."

"I think what makes a great comedian is someone who has a perspective on the world and can make people laugh while sharing it."

"The best moments in comedy are unexpected and unrepeatable."

"Comedy is a great tool for getting at the truth."

"I'm aware that I'm repeating myself, so I'll try not to, but I will."

"How do I feel? A bit tired."

"A day without a nap is like a cupcake without frosting."

"I'm proud that my name means something like 'hard to identify.'"

"I often worry about my memory."

"I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man wearing a spotted metal suit."

"Being a comedian is just trying to get laughs."

"My style of comedy is humor based on truth."

"Comedy is a defense mechanism against reality."

"The world needs more laughter."

"Life's too short to be serious all the time"

"Humor is a bridge between hearts"

"Laughter is the best medicine."

"Laughter is contagious and healing."

"Humor lightens even the darkest times."

"A man's got to make at least one bet a day, else he could be walking around lucky and never know it."