Humor Quotes

"Life is a hard journey; you need a great laugh to keep you going."

"You know what? I think we should laugh at ourselves."

"There's a ball. There's a very high hill. There's a magazine. There's the fault."

"I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again."

"I don't think I was funny in school."

"Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves."

"Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps you in touch with your children."

"I think people need to laugh more."

"Life without humor is a bore."

"A day without laughter is a day wasted."

"Comedy is like music. It's got to be in the timing."

"Laughter is the best medicine, and I've always believed in self-medication."

"I'm so old they've canceled my blood type."

"When life gives you lemons, make sure you have tequila nearby."

"I believe in the power of a good joke to heal the soul."

"I've learned to laugh at myself before anyone else does."

"Humor is the weapon against despair and darkness."

"Laughter is contagious; spread it generously."

"I believe in the healing power of humor and laughter."

"When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick."

"I smoke cigars. On weekends I smoke fish."

"I spent a year in that town, one Sunday."

"At my age, I don't even buy green bananas."

"I'd hate to be a teetotaler. Imagine getting up in the morning and knowing that's as good as you're going to feel all day."

"I gave up smoking. I also gave up drinking and heavy eating. It was wonderful for about two weeks."

"I worked my way up from nothing to complete obscurity."

"You have to have a sense of humor to survive in this world."

"I don't believe in dying. It's been done."

"I've learned that the most important thing in life is to keep laughing."

"The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast."